As the new year begins, it’s a natural time for people to stop and reflect on the year that has just past. And what a year this has been…
It’s easy to get caught in the trap of thinking more about what we have not accomplished versus what what we have. And then there’s the jealousy trap: “Why did they [get to have a show on Broadway] [get that job I was so perfect for] [win that award] [insert your own jealousy here].”
I saw this quote yesterday from some wise Buddhist master:
It reminded me that whatever I have (or have not) accomplished, it is important that I stand up (and show up) for my colleagues’ and friends successes. There is not some strange math equation that tallies their success to equal failure for me.
Me + Friend Succcess2 = I’m A Loser
Fear has a lot to do with it. Jealously is fear-based. When we feel confident with ourselves, we’re a lot less likely to be jealous of others. The first step in overcoming jealousy is just being aware of your feelings. It’s not wrong to feel jealous. But it means you’re comparing yourself to someone else.
So make yourself a list of all the things you accomplished last year. No — really do it… I’ll wait…
You see? You did a lot! So why is it so much easier for us to jump on what we haven’t accomplished versus celebrating what we have?
There is true joy to be had in feeling happy for someone else. Even if it’s sometimes hard for you to find it — do it anyway. It will mean a lot to them to have you show up and celebrate them. And never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.
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